i could only make you cry with these words [entries|friends|calendar] ~~*~kieran~*~~ [ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ] [ calendar | livejournal calendar ]

[28 Nov 2003|03:19pm] nothing matters anymore. it didn't even hurt. goodbye, livejournal. 11 tears | do you cry?

excuses excuses [19 Nov 2003|12:52am] i'm sorry i'm sorry i'm sorry i've lost time i don't know where it goes 1 month 4 days cold metal to soft transluscent wrist flesh blue cable twisted underneath igniting sparks red sparks too much i fall malcolm hears me breaks into my room calls emergency why is this an emergency there are beds. other teenagers. they're pale and flabby they look dead. they look like me. one month. cee visits. i won't come out and see her. they've got me on these meds i can't think straight maybe i will soon maybe more then do you cry?

[15 Oct 2003|05:58pm] i feel wrong what's wrong with me 4 tears | do you cry?

this is a song about a boy and a girl who fell in love [06 Oct 2003|09:06pm] this winter is lasting forever i know you're never leaving....never leaving... cecilia. i lost her somewhere. i had a dream that i was following her but she was all ice, walking past me like i was never there in the first place. i wonder if i will ever find anyone else mandy talked too loud and twirled her hair. yes i was on a date. she said "i see her. i see her all around you" i dont know. i dont know what im doing. i cant stop thinking about her and i'm with her and her and her. celia has been cheating on me, i guess, for a while now. joe. joe is going to be in a frat. joe is going rape women and children and then listen to linkin park. joe joe joe joe motherfucking joe. "maybe you'll find the one thats just right...once you've slept w/ everyone and it doesnt work out, maybe you'll find the problem on the inside" i cant escape it, like i cant escape wireless internet, her, and starbucks. karma's a bitch and i miss you. do you cry?

this fucking head cold. [29 Sep 2003|12:42pm] left school early, came home and i took too much dayquil and now i'm hallucinating. keep thinking my french teacher is crouched in the corner of the room with rouge eyes ready to pounce, demanding why i skipped out on her magnifique class today. this is why i hate drugs. note to self: just suffer next time. 5 tears | do you cry?

my ego's like my stomach [24 Sep 2003|01:05pm] it keeps shitting when i feed it saw cee today. its hard to understand, the ties between us, i can see them. they are threading, but they are cut. She has done something with her hair, or her eyes, or her soul. I do not know. Today I think I'll go to our lake and destroy the images. they sort of flash before my eyes and this needs to end. 5 tears | do you cry?

[23 Sep 2003|11:29pm] [ mood | discontent ] [ music | rainer maria- tin foil ] so yeah. i finally broke down and got a live journal. cee was always telling me i should get one. "your poetry needs a forum, kieran," she'd say. she used to love hearing my poetry. now she won't even listen to me say hello. she hangs up on me. she turns away in the halls. i am a ghost. so i reach out to you, fellow live journalers, through this mass of electricity and wires and cold we call the internet. i reach out to you because cecilia slipped out of my reach. into the dark water. i suppose i should introduce myself. i am kieran, better known as nothing. i am eighteen and go to high school in omaha. i guess it could be worse. i have an older brother named malcolm and a younger sister named eleanor. my parents don't deserve to be named. my siblings barely do. they treat me like an alien. and none of them know shit about music. i play guitar in a band called skies eternal rain. we're just starting out but i have high hopes for us. more on that later. i guess this is it for now. i need to work on the design for this journal because right now its blander than my life. 14 tears | do you cry?

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